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Tuesday, 7 September 2010

From Chennai with love to Hell Down Under ......self made self inflicted ..no masalas and added preservatives


Vanakam, Kushalamena, All is wellz and here I come back after 5months .So how have you all been , anyone there who has been missing this idiot ?? ahhh well who cares ..... . Ok so now where do i start from ?? I myself i dont know , cos I got my inspiration from one of my friends who was forced to read my blog yesterday and thus i thought lets update flamingreds soon .
Ok so you guys do know that i joined a new organisation , its rhymes with solaris and begins with a P .I will not go beyond this as  . Well I was flown straight into melbourne on the 20th of April from Chennai through Hongkong . And I had enough time in hong kong to get out and see some thing .
And thus begins the story of Mr Shyam Shankar Sivasubramaniam . Eh who is this you may ask , none other than my self .I have never in my life expanded the S in my name .Landed in a unknown continent and with no one to help , my nearest seen family member is now 5000 miles away in India . and checked into a room . I called someone called my manager to tell him that i am in Melbourne and reached safely . He picked up my phone and said , I will call you back ......
I am still counting my days from the April20th 2010 , he has still not called back . Even the almighty replied to my prayers soooner than this person .A new journey began just like life back in the UK , working on a project for a super regional bank . The first three months was a severe struggle , a struggle for survival , a struggle for my identity . Its far to long to describe what i went through . There cant be anything more pain than knowing yourself that your not performing at your best . I pushed my self step by step , more into the inknown only to find myself in more deeper troubles . Things with my roommate aka my friends from back home wasnt at a great level of understanding . I think there are some things which should be kept the way they are and not bought too close or too far . At the end a painful choice had to be made , struggle in the unknown to be a warrior or be the master of the known . I chose to be the master of the known . There is always a win some and lose some . I needed my space my peace of mind to perform . Such was my state that my parents had to remind me of my aggressiveness back home .I sought after solace in stuff i never did like going for concerts ,plays ,weekly trips to the temples and just introspecting .
Life in melbourne was not easy , it never was . I have to say a million thanks to my mom for supporting me and giving me inspiration to fight and surpass all odds . These were times of sheer agony ,frustration and many a day I would sit in my room and cry ,( to anyone who thinks boys shudnt cry, am sorry your just inhuman and egoistic.). It took a giant leap of faith to overcome my fears and break the chains which i had tied myself in . It wasnt a easy one , life was tough where i would get hurt , bruised and yet i would get these words of my mom ringing in my head. ,son' push you need to fight' .
And in all this they were this little moments of should happiness , a trip on a steam train and weekend visits to my relatives place was my only distraction .And my frustration with my organisation were rising by the day .
A new sea of change had to come , come july and I was put in a new team , I said good riddance to all worries and yep a fresh outlook into myself . My first task was to bring my performance which was in the negatives to zero . It took a good 3 weeks to undo my negatives and finally i could say YES ! I am at zero . I took some time to see how far my peers are . Or should I say one in particular . Considering my peers joined with me in April and I have reached zero in july , they were miles ahead in terms of performance , confidence and motivation . Between me and them stood 3 full months of effort . I said to myself , I have taken 2 steps back to get peace, 6months down I need to be 2 steps ahead of the guys who are now currently 3 months ahead of me . Now you work out the maths , i was never good at it .
By mid july , flamingreds aka me was chugging along the Australian journey of life with a firm and positive resolve to achieve and perform . Things from here are no more a pain in my bloody back . I was back in business and I thanked all who have given me the strength . By now i had got my work permit and got my first Australian dollar salary . Life now was much more smoother and I could now began expanding my interests a little bit , Did some trips to the nearby hills and slowly was pampering myself .
Am actually bored of writing this anymore cos I have now decided that all my pessimistic thoughts should end over here .
But hey I am leaving this blog at a point where my journey and my targets were to be achieved with many milestones to achieve .
I do apologise for making his blog boring and filled with negative thoughts , but hang on folks ....
The continuation of this is going to be one heck of a ride , super fun , super freaky and a lot more positive blog filed with all my passion , .
But if you have been patient enough to come til this way , life will always throw stuff at you . Migt be shitty . Some times the very own person whom you consider your shoulder to lean on will be your worst nightmare . All this should be only taken on a positive note .
The entire struggle made me a strong person , today i say problem mmmm ... I look upto the sky and say ‘so you started something again ‘?? Sure thing just bring it on and lets see what you can throw at me . This attitude took some time to get into me , but this will never ever go away .
Its all about how you look at things ,the satisfaction what you get when you get up and fight and win is something i cannot describe . That feeling you have to be and endure .
Next time you face and you think your a loser , oh no your not ,, you are ur best , go face the world !!
Till the next one , seeya all

2 comments:

Vyom said...

i didnt know you blogged man.. but pretty good piece you got here..!

kalpana said...

hey son didn't know u express so much gr8 blog yaar , can turn to a author for a hobby . gud going. i got to see so much of you than what i actually knew. an eye opener and a good one too. keep writing . i am your fan. so don't disappoint me . lots of love - mom